You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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