Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
