Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
from now on my penis is your penis
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
