hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
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