I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
