if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
