so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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