I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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