I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize