That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
