Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
