I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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