somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Bang-toberfest begins!!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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