Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i came on her dog
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
