so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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