Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am available for nakedness
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
