you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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