HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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