at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize