it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
