i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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