shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
