CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
