They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
i think im in europe. pls send help
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
