On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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