I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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