I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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