Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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