I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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