She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
