hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize