just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
