the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
