thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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