wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
