Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
