I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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