Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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