Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
