Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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