currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
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THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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