Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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