So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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