dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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