This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
