i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
