I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
