Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize