btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
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You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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