I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
