I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
