It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize