barbara walters just said penis...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize