How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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