is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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