So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
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