he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.