I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
splinters make it hard to masturbate
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
