Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.

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  (505): I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously. http://tfl.nu/fpp3
  Replies (23) Good night (3034) Bad night (742)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.

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  (620): I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful. http://tfl.nu/8ema
  Replies (9) Good night (5301) Bad night (851)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.

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  (207): So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town. http://tfl.nu/b29o
  Replies (32) Good night (7766) Bad night (2452)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america

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  (616): Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america http://tfl.nu/zong
  Replies (27) Good night (6632) Bad night (1543)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

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  (787): Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt http://tfl.nu/aoj7
  Replies (4) Good night (3524) Bad night (1417)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.

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  (217): i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in. http://tfl.nu/1p6s
  Replies (1) Good night (1852) Bad night (597)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.

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  (970): Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved. http://tfl.nu/n0se
  Replies (4) Good night (739) Bad night (1021)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?

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  (507): Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth? http://tfl.nu/1qlq
  Replies (13) Good night (1665) Bad night (628)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?

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  (712): You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you? http://tfl.nu/pa4x
  Replies (11) Good night (667) Bad night (1695)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?

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  (810): Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation? http://tfl.nu/9j5z
  Replies (7) Good night (1087) Bad night (702)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself

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  (920): hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself http://tfl.nu/vx7o
  Replies (8) Good night (983) Bad night (359)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?

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  (405): Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it? http://tfl.nu/wmow
  Replies (1) Good night (736) Bad night (378)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.

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  (505): So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused. http://tfl.nu/omzp
  Replies (1) Good night (263) Bad night (333)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.

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  (727): The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now. http://tfl.nu/gkpn
  Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (219)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He keeps bees of course he's weird

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  (248): He keeps bees of course he's weird http://tfl.nu/iaag
  Replies (6) Good night (447) Bad night (267)

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