Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
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my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together