sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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