theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
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Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.