I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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