Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
